punch_kicker15

Title: Someday My Prince Will Come
Author: punch_kicker15
Rating: G
Characters/Relationships: Willow, gen
Summary: Willow's internet addiction support group gets a surprise visitor. Set in Cleveland in the present, no comics canon used.
Word count: 1535
Notes: Written for buffy_genfics, for

spuffy_luvr Prompt was Willow becomes a counselor/sponsor for click addicts; internet kitties; the Nigerian Prince comes to Sunnydale (or setting of choice) to repay a character for their help.
Warnings: Links to SFW cat sites and one SFW Youtube video within. Also, this is kind of crack-fic (which I hope is what spuffy_luvr wanted).

EDITED TO ADD: Super-nifty cover art from

rbfvid!

Willow looked around the table at a sea of new faces. It was a new semester at the Slayer/Watcher Academy, and a mostly-new group of girls--a mix of Slayers, junior witches, and Watcher trainees in her Problematic Internet Use support group.

"Anyone have something you want to talk about tonight?" Willow asked. No one answered. The girls all looked at each other, down at the floor, anywhere except at Willow.

Finally, Jiao, one of the holdovers from last semester, spoke. "I stayed up late wiki-surfing last night." She twisted her ponytail around her fingers. "I started reading about Seoul, because of last week's apocalypse, so it started off work-related. Then I just kept clicking on link after link, and before I knew it, I was reading about platypus reproduction cycles and it was 2 am."

It warmed Willow's heart to see a Slayer who was interested in learning for learning's sake. Most of the Slayers she knew were more focused and goal-oriented in knowledge accumulation.

Still, the point of the group was that the search for knowledge could sometimes be self-destructy. Willow asked, "What were you feeling when you started link surfing?"

"I had a bad day in archery class, and one of the younger girls kicked my ass in sparring. I just felt--like I'm really bad at this, and it's never going to get any better. So, sad, I guess. And of course, when I don't sleep well, I'm not gonna fight well, so it's a never-ending vicious circle thing."

Willow said, "Let's think of other things we can do when we get those kinds of feelings. Going for a walk can help clear your head when you're stuck feeling sad." She stood up, grabbed a dry-erase marker, and wrote "Go for a walk," on the whiteboard.

Hana, one of Willow's witch proteges, said, "Getting a drinking chocolate at Lilly's Chocolates always cheers me up."

Willow said, "That's great," and added "Lilly’s Chocolates" to the whiteboard.

It was time to get the shyer participants involved. She picked a tiny dark-haired Watcher candidate. "Juliana, what else?"

Juliana got a scared-bunny look on her face, but worked up the nerve to say, "I like going dancing at Vortex."

Willow made a discreet telepathic request to her iPhone at home. Her iPhone told her that Vortex was an all-ages club, so she said, "Perfect!" and added it to the whiteboard.

Juliana, perhaps emboldened by this, asked, "Can I bring up an--issue I had?"

Finally they were getting comfortable enough to get the conversation flowing. Willow smiled. "Of course. What is it?"

Juliana ducked her head; her hair obscured her face. "The other night I was really, really bored. And I got one of those Prince of Nigeria emails. I know it's not real, but I was really tempted to answer. I just wanted to see what would happen."

Willow understood that kind of curiosity all too well. She decided to do what she wished the adults in her life had done for her: exploring that curiosity in the safest way possible.

"Yeah, that's a bad idea; I'll show you why."

She sat down at the desktop computer with an Ethernet connection. It was the only device in the room that could connect to the internet; both Wi-Fi and cellular signals were blocked.

She opened one of the Council's throwaway email accounts. Sure enough, there were half a dozen Nigerian Prince emails. There was one that promised to reward the recipient with their heart’s desire--that was new. Maybe it was some way of avoiding fraud charges. Willow projected the email on the wall for the girls to see, and started walking them through the mechanics of the scam.

The scammer responded almost instantly to her email, requesting that she send a $500 money order. Willow winced at the amount, but the lesson would have its fullest impact. If it helped even one of the girls recognize and avoid scams in the future, it was worth it.

***

Hana started the next week’s meeting by saying, "I keep looking at cats on the internet--I'll start with the Itty Bitty Kitty Committee and see if there's a new batch of kittens."

Willow suppressed a giggle at the name, then asked her iPhone to show her the site in her mind's eye. Not a malicious site, just a lot of cute kittens.

Hana continued, "Then I'll go to Grumpy Cat's site and see if there are any new photos, and then maybe Maru's site to see if there are any updates, and then start the whole thing back over again."

As her iPhone showed her each site, Willow found herself getting tempted. Not by the web-surfing--that had been her job since she was sixteen, and felt too much like work to be tempting--but by kittens. They were awfully cute. Maybe it was finally time to find a successor to Miss Kitty Fantastico.

Juliana asked, "Did you see the Baby Loves Cat Youtube video? The baby flips out when her mom brings the cat into the room."

Willow's phone brought up the video. Wow, that kind of unfettered joy from the baby was a thing of beauty. Lately she'd been thinking pretty seriously about babies--

--and the hairs on the back of Willow’s neck stood up, and a citrusy tang hit the back of her throat. Something was about to materialize in her classroom.

Willow moved between the girls and whatever it was. "Girls, Stay behind me." The Slayers quickly formed a circle around the junior Watchers and witches, as a demon slowly materialized in front of Willow.

He resembled nothing so much as a blue-skinned Principal Snyder. If Snyder were prone to wearing green velvet robes and a super-ostentatious jeweled crown.

Willow, her iPhone said in her mind, anxiety somehow creeping into that placid Siri voice, Rona’s Slayer team is on its way.

Just one demon so far, she thought back.

The demon glanced at her, and said, “Good day! You are Willow Danielle Rosenberg, the only daughter of Ira and Sheila Rosenberg?”

“Uh, yep, that’s me.” She had the odd sensation of someone rifling through papers in her mind; this demon must have some sort of empathic, if not telepathic abilities. Willow’s jaw clenched. Usually people couldn’t read her thoughts unless she was deliberately projecting them--it felt kinda intrusive to be on the other side of the telepathy thing for once.

The demon gave her a broad grin, (which was quite charming, even with the fangs) then dropped to one knee, took her hand in his, and kissed it.

“Please, kindly pardon me for any inconvenience from my visit. Permit me to inform you, I am Prince Zetninuriel. I was imprisoned in this dimension, until your generous donation assisted me to recover the Ring of Inpohaos, and to return to the Nigeria in my dimension.”

“Oh, um--neat!” Willow said, trying to extricate her hand. But he held on tight. She thought to her iPhone and Rona, Seems harmless so far. Have the Slayer team wait outside the classroom for now.

The demon prince (she wasn’t even going to try to pronounce that name) stood up and said, “My last deed in this dimension will be to reward you for your beneficence with your heart’s desire.”

He’d been looking through her mind a minute ago. Her heart started to pound when she thought about the possibilities he might have come up with, and the consequences. ”No, I’m good, really. My heart's completely desire-free.”

But he stood up and pulled a covered basket out of thin air. Oh, goddess. He must have read her thoughts about babies just now, and what if this was someone’s baby that he’d stolen? Or even if it was a magically-created baby, it wasn’t like she was ready for instant motherhood, certainly not without thinking and planning and having a Serious Talk--

He opened up the basket, revealing four grey tabby kittens. Hana pushed her way to the front of the circle, and squealed in delight. Willow did a quick scan to make sure they weren’t demonic or zombie kittens. No magic or demonic energies, just kitteny energies. She could finally breathe again. Kittens were a gift she could handle.

But what kind of lesson would she be teaching the girls? That they should accept gifts from mysterious demons who came out of nowhere? She turned back to the demon prince, “I’m sorry, I really can’t accept this.”

Tears welled up in his eyes. She opened up the telepathic connection a little more, and couldn’t read anything but sincere gratitude and vulnerability from him. She remembered what it was like to be that fragile--where someone’s thoughtless words or rejection could crush her spirit. She took the basket from him. “Uh, I guess I can accept this after all. Thank you. That’s very kind of you.”

He beamed at her. “Remain blessed, Willow Danielle Rosenberg.” Then he winked out of the room.

All clear, she told her phone and Rona.

Then she turned back to the girls, trying to salvage some sort of teachable moment from all of this. “Ok, so that almost never happens.” Then she gestured at the basket. “Also, these are some expensive kittens.”